Sen. Kennedy: "I've been getting on this plane, you know, for 42 years. Why can't I get on the plane?"

Ted, we don't want to hurt your feelings friend, but the reason is that this plane is going all the way to the White House.

You remember now that we let you make a speech at the convention. And you dern right you and yours are going to be special guests of mine at the inauguration, the inauguration ball and all other ceremonies in January.

Surely Ted you must have noticed that I began veering a bit to the middle in the process of going for the nomination, and as we go forward, I might need to veer a tad more to the middle as we position ourselves for the general election.

It is for this same reason that I have decided to follow the advice that that Shipp fellow down in Georgia gave me back in early May of this year about avoiding being photographed with you anymore for the time being.

What, Ted, who is Shipp? Oh, never mind, actually, I don't know for certain, but I suspect you two might not see eye to eye on a good many things, although I would also guess that he was a fan of and had a lot of respect for your brother Jack.

Anyway, back in May this Shipp fellow had the following in his weekly column that appears in many Georgia newspapers:

Question. What could Sen. John F. Kerry do to have any chance of winning Georgia in the November election?

Answer. Not much. But he might try flattening his broad New England ''a,'' avoid being photographed ever again with Ted Kennedy, shush his wife or select Sam Nunn as his running mate.

(For story behind title, see N.Y. Times.)